The Wandering Deity's World

10/26/2007

Meet the First Graders

My boss told me to take some pictures of the first graders for the school's website. I asked the kids to sit still and pose nicely.

As soon as I said, "Cheese", they decided to do their thing-y.

Boy in Blue: Here's your crown, Chuckie!

Girl in Black: I'll poke your eyes, you, you pretentious Princess!

Girl in Yellow: I can't pull her hair. It's braided.

Boy in Green: The toy looks nice on your head, Princess.

Girl in Green: Oh please people. I'm too pretty for you all.

GIB: I'll pull your remaining teeth with teacher's pen!

BIB: Me so scared!

GIY: Gosh! I'm so hot!

GIG: This is boring...

BIG: I should be in the center! I'm the Princess!

 

GIB: Die biatch!

GIP: Trust me sister, I eat pens for lunch!

BIB: I'm outta here! You people are freaks!

GIY: No close up please!

BIG: Come on, let's have a make-over.

GIG: I so totally don't need it.

 Guess, the teacher's a bad influence huh?  

23:55 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (4) | Email this | Tags: school life, blogging, journal

10/01/2007

Was I the Culprit?

This morning. I rushed to meet a potential morning part-time employer and dashed through this turnstile. Midway however, the automatic gate suddenly closed. Disgusted, I kicked the dang thing and pushed my way out.

And tonight, I was tickled to death to see this subway mechanic tries to figure out what went wrong. Dare I say a thing? Do you expect me to kneel and bow and ask for apologies? Hello!?

I silently took some pictures, casually made my way out then inconspicuously ran home before anyone could arrest me.

On another interesting note, my blogs in Yahoo 360 mysteriously disappeared. I don't know if it's one of those Yahoo's monthly cramps or something, but I seriously believe I deserve a notice before my entire Yahoo life is deleted. Gawd!

00:10 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (7) | Email this | Tags: life, journal, blog, Korea, subway

09/27/2007

Back To School

Came to school earlier than usual. Got lots of things to do which I neglected during the vacation. No one’s in yet except the boss and this little boy...

He was probably bored because there’s no one to play around with, so he decided to scare me off as I was coming out of the washroom. I nearly slipped and screamed at the top of my lungs, much to his amusement.

When his homeroom teacher arrived, I told what the little monster did. He was asked to apologize. He didn’t say sorry, instead he shyly muttered, "I love you MJ".

22:50 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (5) | Email this | Tags: school life, blog, journal, kids

09/13/2007

Teachers Should be Allowed to Choose their Students

My boss finally decided to  hire a new foreign teacher. Thank goodness. Not complaining here but handling all 150 students in a week, for 6 hours everyday, is probably like having sex with an NFL team on a weekly basis. (I dunno why I made that analogy. I just thought of that.) I am terribly exhausted at the end of each class and often wonder if I'd be able to work again the following day.

And since I can now consider myself a senior teacher, I have the option of choosing which class to handle for the homeroom.

Should I choose the parrot like students?

Me: Class, repeat after me.

Class: Class, repeat after me.

Me: Read from the top.

Class: Read from the top.

Or the smart assess who never fail to give me a migraine.

Me: (Reading from the book) And Herman Cortes, the conquistador, after coming back from Mexico, presented the King of Spain with the cacao seeds from the Mayans and that started the popularity of chocolate in Europe.

Smart Ass 1: Why Cortes give King only chocolate?

Me: Maybe because the King likes chocolates?

Smart Ass 2: Kings don't like chocolates.

Me: How did you know that? Do you know any king who hates chocolate?

Smart Ass 2: No teacher. Do you?

Me: (Silently prayed, God grant  me the serenity...)

Smart Ass 3: Why Cortes not give King gold?

Smart Ass 4: Yes, teacher. Why no necklace?

Smart Ass 5: I'm Cortes, I give King gold watch.

Me: (On the verge of hysteria) Perhaps Cortes also brought with him some gold and jewelries. But we are talking about the origin of chocolate here that's why the other gifts are not mentioned.

Smart Ass 6: Maybe Cortes is poor.

 Me: Whatever! Can you guys just please google the answers to your other questions? That's your homework! (Continued her prayers)

I forgot, the smart-asses' parents personally requested ME to handle the Elite Class, as they don't trust the new teacher (whom they haven't even met yet).

Guess I have not much choice huh?

02:20 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (15) | Email this | Tags: blog, journal, school life

08/11/2007

The Teacher Wears That-Can't-Be-Named

Yesterday, I noticed the students fall into deathly mutterings whenever I write something on the whiteboard. The Elite class (they are smart-asses for a reason, believe me) are not usually like that : me turning around means the chance to check the celphones; another turn on the Rubik's cube; finish the homework, etcetera. However, for no particular reason at all, they were very animated with their convos. I caught glimpses of the murmurings.

She is not... She is!... Can you see it?... Can't!... Can you?... Gross!... Why don't you ask her?... I don't want to... You do it... Shhh, she's done writing...

*Silence*

Me: Okay, so what is going on here?

Sara: Teacher, Diane has a question.

(Because Diane is the youngest, she's always obliged to speak for the whole group, especially if it's one of them really important issues, that has to be discussed with Teacher.)

Me: Yes, Diane?

Diane: Teacher... teacher... you not angry?

Me: Why? What have you done this time?

Diane: Nothing!

Me: So what is the problem?

Diane: Teacher, you wearing white pants.

Me: Of course! It's summer!

Diane: But teacher you no panties!

At this point, I noticed everyone suppressing everything: from laughing to giggling to burfing to farting. Each was hanging on to what I was gonna say next.

Me: What? What did you say Diane?

Diane: You no panty?

Me: Of course I am wearing one but you can't see it because it's a thong!

Diane: What's a thong?

Me: You know, this is so absurd. Do you have any better questions Diane?

Diane: Teacher you sure you wear panty?

Me: (Already plotting a glamorous way of getting rid of this arrogant elf) Of course, I am! You want to see them?

Class: (Shrieking at the same time) Nooooooooooooo!!! Please, please teacher nooooo!!! She's so gross! Teacher's bad! Bad teacher!

Me: That's it! Diane, you stay after the class! I'm going to call your mom!

Diane: (Giving me her sweetest devil-ish grin) Teacher, you like chocolate? I give you Hersheys!

Of course, teacher was pacified and ate all Diane's Hersheys. Class was dismissed with them still wondering what a thong is. Poor little kids. I'm going to bring my green one to show them this Monday. Yay!

11:50 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (14) | Email this | Tags: life, blogging, school life

07/11/2007

Watching Movie with a Chinese

Mother, the greatest movie critic, who ever walked on the face of this planet, told me that I  should not miss the Tranformers for anything in the world. Then, I read in a myspace friend's blog that she saw the movie and thought it's pretty really cool.

With that in mind, imagine my excitement when M, a former classmate in the Korean class, decided to watch the movie with me. She's no movie addict like yours truly but she said that Transformers was big in China when she was a young girl, and to see a real movie based on her favorite cartoon would be "interesting".

We rushed to the moviehouse to make it to the 5:30 screening. However, when we were about to buy tickets, we found out that the two cinemas playing the said movie have them in Korean. How sad is that? We forgot that it's Sunday-- family day and kiddie oriented movies (supposedly) like Transformers are translated in Korean, with no English subtitles. Yay!

Having no other options, we decided to see The Descent, which I have already seen on DVD, a year ago. Don't ask me why it took Koreans two years to show that movie here. I don't know either.

Classmate queried whether it's a really scary movie, as she hates seeing gory-terrifying ones with a passion. I told her that it's a suspense-thriller, not some kind of a horror-ghostly-type-of-movie. Of course, I lied. I just wanted to see how she would react in some creepy parts.

I paid dearly for lying.

To make the story short...

After the movie was over, I got bruises and scratches on my right arm. I didn't know that M, that sweet-spoken-well-poised-girl, turns into a Crouching Tigress, Hidden Dragoness, when petrified.

With eardrums almost shattered, right after we got out of the cinema, she screamed in my face for not telling her the truth... I just giggled.

She pinched me all the way to the shopping mall... as if the scratches weren't enough. She even told me that she thought she's going to have a heart attack when a nocturnal creature suddenly appeared behind one of the women.

I told her she over-reacted. She decided to pinch me again and cursed in Chinese, which amused me even more. I cussed her back in Spanish.

So much about sweet Chinese girls married to Korean men. They are myths. They don't exist really. Trust me on that one.

I gave up on Transformers. I am going to wait for the pirated DVD copy, which should be available in the Yongsan sidewalks, as I type this blog.

I am going to watch Harry Potter next weekend... Alone!

01:35 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (9) | Email this | Tags: life, movies, journal, blogging, Transformers

07/07/2007

The Bungalow

23:40 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (6) | Email this

07/03/2007

Hagwon Drama

One of my favorite students in the Elite class (my homeroom class) -- A -- a charming young woman, quit today.

Apparently, last Friday, the boss asked for her June school fee and she told the boss that it was already given to the  Korean Teacher 1 (KT1) last end of May or first week of June. I can't remember exactly when. I got so lost with their rapid Hangeul. 

KT1 told the boss that A never gave her any payment. Boss decided to call A's mom to follow up payment. A's mom spoke to KT1 and they had a heated argument over the phone. A was adamant with her claim that she gave the payment to KT1, and the latter insisted that she didn’t get any payment at all.

I was told all about the issue only this afternoon when A said her goodbye. It broke my heart to know that she has to stop going to our school. She’s one of my sweetest students, if not the brightest.

 

I spoke to KT2 and innocently commented that perhaps KT1 was too busy to remember that A gave her the fee last month. KT2 summoned KT1 and repeated my statement. KT1 got furious. Because of the language barrier, my intention was misinterpreted. KT1 thought I was accusing her of stealing A’s school fee, which was rather ridiculous because it was not what I was trying to say.

 

In trying to help fix my student's predicament, I told KT 1 and 2 that I am willing to pay for A’s June tuition fee. The boss may deduct it from my salary this month. However, KT1 insisted that it was a not a good idea because it will only invoke jealousy among the students, and not to mention, an outrage among the parents if ever they find out.

 

I teach in a small village, and the folks know each other well, hence the competition of sending their children to any special classes after the regular school. It’s like what you call keeping up with the Joneses, which is a malady among Korean parents, much to the disgust of their children. Can't blame the parents. They only want the best for their children. Actually, more like whatever makes them prouder.

 

KT1 also pointed out that the parents of A may not like it. Pride, you know.

 

Sigh.

 

Anyway, I told KT1 that A could not have possibly kept the school fee to herself to buy things, because it was what they insinuated. It is a known fact that in the Elite class, she’s the only one who doesn’t have the latest cellular phone model or MP4 or electronic dictionary; she wears the same clothes for days. I noted that I never saw her possess any new fancy stuff for the past few weeks, if indeed she decided not to turn in the money.

 

I know my students so well. Whenever they have something new, be it a Rubik's cube or a new notebook, they make sure to show it off, in my face.

 

KT1 and KT2 advised me to stay away from the problem and just continue doing what I am paid to do.

 

I feel so bad for A but I know that she’s going to have a bright future ahead of her. I pray that this incident won’t cause her any trauma at all, but let it serve as an inspiration to struggle to make her life better.

 

===============================================

 

*hagwon is the Korean term for special schools.

03:00 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this | Tags: journal, life, school, sad, pain, drama

06/30/2007

Picnic by the Suicide River

Last Sunday, to seek temporarily freedom from the confines of my nagging catatonia, I decided to join the potluck picnic that friends, Joan and Tita Kit, organized. I wasn’t really in the mood to do anything special that particular day because I had a little altercation with the BF, but I realized that it won't do me any good to just stay in my room and sulk.

 

We decided to have the picnic by the Han River Park.

 

Han River Park, on a lazy summer afternoon, is a welcome relief from the daily beatings of life. One can just relax, read some books, listen to MP3 or feast on homemade picnic goodies while inhaling the cozy Seoul air.

 

If you dig in-line skating, the park is the perfect place to show-off those glides. There are also bikes and duck boats for rent to enjoy the afternoon. A ferry boat cruises the river for something like 8 bucks. I am not sure. I have yet to try it.

 

The river, apart from being the biggest in South Korea, is also well known as the favorite suicide spot of those who are desperate to see the underworld. For the past few years, the river is said to have claimed lives of some well known Korean corporate executives, disgruntled lovers, homeless and jobless strugglers, and the likes.  

 

I don't know why I am telling you that guys. I just think you should know, just in case, you know, you come here in Korea feeling really low and all -- there's a place you can go and be included in the annals of suicides in this country.

The food and company amused me a lot and made me forget momentarily whatever predicament I was having then. However, as I was beginning to savor the cool summer breeze, some people started to take pictures of me. And who am I to say no to paparazzi? If celebrities hate them, I don’t, so I posed away!

02:50 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (4) | Email this

05/30/2007

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Today, I am so happy. Today I  have a girlfriend. Her name is ****. She is beautiful. Her legs are very beautiful. Her lips are very soft. She says I love you and I say to her I love you too. She says we meet in girls toilet on lunchtime. I met her in girls toilet at 12 o'clock noon. She gave me a letter. She says I kiss her so I kiss her. Today I am so very happy. Today is the most important day of my life. 

That is the unedited version of T's diary, one of the smart-asses from my Elite Class, a future playboy, if I may say. He used to write about his favorite childish stuff. Come to think of it, all his entries prior to this one, were about computer, soccer and baseball games. And he would write it in a puzzle like manner, it sometimes takes me hours to edit his work. However, today, he was exceptionally careful with his composition. He even begged me to give him more time to finish his work.

As soon as I finished reading his memoir, I summoned him to press for the juicy details. Oh you know me, the nosey teacher from  hell. I am just a sucker for details! Bring it on baby! Spill out the details! Come on! Come on!

Our conversation went like this.  

Me: (Trying to be serious) Explain to me what is this all about.

T: (Whispering) Teacher please don't tell them. This is a secret. Nobody knows.

Me: (Whispering) Okay, but you are too young to have a girlfriend.

T: (Whispering) Teacher, I'm twelve.

Me: No, that is your Korean age. You're actually only eleven. That means you're still a baby.

T: (Furious) Nooooooooooo!!! I am not a baby anymore. I am twelve!

Me: (Whispering) Okay fine. Can I tell your sister?

T: (Very furious now) No teacher! You do that I push you out of the window!!!

Me: (Whispering) Okay. Fine. I won't. Calm down. Did you really kiss her?

T: (Smiling up to his ears) Yes!!!

Me: (Whispering) You can't kiss her. You're still a baby.

T: (Exasperated) Teacher, may I sit down now?

*End of conversation*

Hmp!

I'll let you know when T writes about his first date.

02:00 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (5) | Email this | Tags: Korea, puppy love, blogging, diary, kids, school, secrets

05/28/2007

Anniversary, Random Facts, Etcetera

Happy anniversary to me.

Three years ago, at exactly 6:35 pm, the plane from Manila landed in Incheon Airport. With a bag of hope tucked in my waist, I began my adventure in Korea with great apprehension and enthusiasm.

It goes without saying that my life here in Korea is indeed colorful. My destiny's changed. Like it or not, a lot of things happened beyond my wildest imagination, most of which, I blogged here.

Sadly though, it's been three years since I last saw my family. I can't wait to see them again. Oh well, I am not in the mood to be senti tonight. I am just tired.

Besides, I am kinda annoyed that I got e-mail notifications  re password change from Blog Explosion, Multiply.com and Blogspirit. Who the heck is trying to hack my account? Whoever that sad little person is? Duh? I feel sorry for you already. You have no life. Really. Why don't you watch some movies?

On a lighter note, blog friend rhey tagged me.  I have done this before but was too lazy to dig in my archives, so here goes again.

The rules and mechanics of this chain:

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog! Let's begin…

7 Random facts about me:

Wait. Why don't I ask the BF first to do that for me. Let's see how well he knows me.

*** Go read his comment. ***

I am tagging Ally, G, Attator, Raven, EA, Petite, and B Monkey. 

22:45 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this

05/04/2007

Mr. Pink and His Gang

I walked towards the elevator and saw a Korean dude wearing a pink tie. Wow, Mr. Pink! Uber metrosexual. Nothing wrong with it. I thought he carried it with elan. Not many guys can pull that look.

We rode the elevator together. Disgusted, I noticed that the elevator went up to the 5th floor. He must be going up. But what the heck is he doing on the 3rd floor? None of my business. Annoyed that I can't check my outfit in the elevator mirror, I decided to concentrate on the bulletin about "Garbage Disposal Rules". It's new. Freshly posted. The one that the aparment building manager posted several months ago is gone. Hmm... They are serious eh? These Koreans are bloody anal about garbage disposal.

Anyone caught dumping trash without the prescribed garbage bag will be fined 200,000 won ($200).  Second offense will be 500,000 won ($500). Dump trash on the designated dumping sites and follow this rule strictly. Bla. Bla. Bla.

Yeah. I kinda follow that. I went over the bulletin again and rolled my eyes. I caught Mr. Pink staring at me. (Koreans love to stare, mind you). I pretended that I am annoyed with all these garbage thing-y rules. I am not really bothered. Ha! I am the RULE! Oh, yes. I AM THE RULE!

Finally, the elevator descended and it was time to face the world. Good-bye Mr. Pink. Hope your tie hooks you up with lots of hotties! Hehehehe.

I did what I had to do the whole day and came home exhausted. I forgot Mr. Pink, I remember the trash. I have to get rid of them. They are kinda annoying in the senses.

I went down to dump my trash. I was walking towards the store to buy something to eat when I heard:

*Prrt! Prrt! Prrt!*

Agassi! Agassi! (Miss! Miss!)

Holy sheet! Were those the garbage police? I am not going to fine 200 bucks. No, I am not going to be deported back to  the Philippines because I didn't buy any garbage bag! Sheeeeettttt!!! I was too flustered to even think about the headline tomorrow:  

"Pretty Filipina Caught in Violation of Garbage Rules"

If I were in the Philippines, the tabloid headline would read: "Nakulong Dahil sa Basura!" (Jailed For Trash!)

Ewwwwww! That sounds so gay already.

I turned around and flashed my toothy grin to the guy who whistled. There were three of them actually. They came out of the dark. I didn't see them before. No. They must be hiding under those cars parked infront of the dump site. Ugh!

They asked in Korean (naturally, they thought am Korean) where my trash is. I pointed the grocery bag full of stuff I won't even think about enumerating  here. They also asked  why I didn't use the appropriate garbage bag. I suddenly can't understand Korean. I simply smiled and asked them in English what they were talking about. I know they are talking about the rules.

Yes I hear you fine but I can't understand Korean now. I have this ability of shutting down myself from the outer world. Seeeeeeeeee? I am an alien. Nope. Sorry. Cheoneun Hangeul mal mulayo. Moteyo! ((I don't know Korean. Can't!)

They also asked where I am from, where I live, etcetera, etcetera. Frustrated that they could not make me understand them, they decided to escort me to the store and told the store manager to give me garbage bags. They even helped me transfer the stuff unto the bag. How sweet of them. I bought the rest of the things I needed to buy and noticed them still tailing me.

They tried to explain the "Garbage Disposal Rules" again in English. Enough! I just smiled and bowed back and forth, short of saying, I know, I know... 

Then out of nowhere, Mr. Pink appeared. He asked the 3 guys what was going on. They told him that they caught me and that I am a foreigner and I am not probably aware of the rules. I left them blabbering in Korean.

As I was going inside the apartment building, I heard Mr. Pink told the 3 stooges in high pitch: "She can understand Korean! I saw her read the rules in the elevator this morning! I know she can understand them!"

Mr. Pink is head of the garbage stalkers? He's too corporate to be watching garbage violators. Duhhhhhh!!!

Oh well. Game over. I bought the bags. I dumped the trash properly. Good bye Mr. Pink! See you when I see you! I still hope your pink tie hooks you up with lots of hotties! Go get 'em!

Whew! That was close.

03:05 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: garbage, life, adventure, Korea

04/18/2007

Laundry Room Aborted Massacre

It's almost past 12 midnight when I decided to do my laundry. I can not possibly go to bed without washing those tainted knickers. They bother me a lot. I dragged the hamper to the laundry room and was getting ready to load everything when this Korean dude rudely came in. He asked what I was  going to do. I don't look like am  going to shower, yes? I answered meekly what I was planning to do but he angrily told me that I can't possibly do so because he's going to bed already.

What the heck? My landlord told me that I can wash my clothes anytime I want. He guaranteed that it won't bother the neighbors!

But that guy... does he sleep there?

I was meaning to wait for an answer but I opted to begrudgingly wash the stuff by hand. Ugh! Funny though that when that guy was talking to me, the Virginia Tech massacre expeditiously came to mind. Uh-uh.

Speaking of which, I gotta say that I can not personally believe a Korean can do such a thing. They are hot tempered. Yes. Most of them are, but shoot a lot of people? It's really inconceivable. Here in Korea, they are just too happy to yell and slap each other. Fire a gun? Hmmmm... I dunno. Maybe because gun is definitely banned here?

Anyway, just when I thought am going to have a peaceful life in the apartment because the Ajumma who calls everyone using the laundry room -- son of a dog -- has moved out...

Sigh.

Perhaps I should ask the landlord for an extra padlock.

01:35 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: laundry room, massacre, Korea, fear, security

04/12/2007

The Student from Hell

The moment I met this kid a year ago, I was convinced right there and then that when the doctor spanked his fresh-from-momma's-womb butt, he yelled in the doctor's face something like "Can you do better than that?!!!"

I sub'ed for the MIA Math teacher earlier. And when this kid saw me in the classroom, he gave me this I-am-going-to-make-your-day-hellish look. I ignored that. Actually, I tried to ignore him. But came problem no. 3 which was really confusing. The book is in Korean. I have no assistant to do the dirty works. I can come up with a thousand and one excuses for not doing problem no. 3. 

I had to do something...

I told the students to read that particular problem carefully before they start computing for the solution. The youngster in focus suddenly yelled in Korean: "We can't understand the problem. Teacher you have to explain it!" And everyone chorused in unison. Hearing that was like deja vu.

How could I explain something that I don't understand? But hello, am not going to admit that!

I told the them again to read the problem slowly... carefully. Unsatiated, the 10 year-old disciple of Belezebub came up to  me and said in his best English: "Teacher you don't know problem. Okay? Okay? Okay!"

I tried to ignore his really annoying statement and told him to sit down. Before he sat though, he declared (in Korean) that he will tell the Wonjang (Korean for school headmaster) that the foreign teacher can't do Math and she should not be allowed to teach Math.

Fast forward.

Thank heavens for teacher's manual which my boss clandestinely hid in his drawers. A big pat on my back for being that good in finding things. I was able to prove that I can solve the problems and I do know the right answers. Hah!

The little boy? I willed him to jump out of the window.

 Jump you little prick! Jump! Please just jump!

Someday, I shall master my telekinetic powers...

00:50 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (6) | Email this

04/06/2007

Classroom Scenes

Today, during my 6:30 class -- the so-called "Elite" group composed of 10 smart-asses.

Me: Write five sentences using any of the words from the list. Make a long sentence. For example, don't just write "I miss you" when using the word "miss". Is that understood?

Justin: Teacher, can I write "I will miss you?"

Me: No! I told you to write a long sentence!

Luke: How about, "Teacher jumps out of the window. We miss her."

Students: Ahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!! 

Arrgghhhhhhh!!!

Then later on.

Me: (While checking their homework.) Whose book is this? Page 4's not done and there's no name on the cover. How many times do I  have to tell you guys to write your name on the cover?! And who among you submitted an undone homework?! (I was really getting pissed.)

Diane: (Approached my table and examined the book.) Teacher, it's your book!

Me: (Surprised) Oh, yeah. You're right. It's my book.

Students: Ahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!! 

Me: What? What? What's so funny?

Arrgghhhhhhh!!!

00:35 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (9) | Email this

04/04/2007

Do You Need a Job?

Earlier today, right after a very disheartening offer for a morning part-time, I got this call.

Caller: Hi, I'd like to speak to Angela.

Me: Speaking.

Caller: Angela, I saw your picture and profile in **** website. I wonder if you'd like to work for us.

Me: I'd love to, but let me tell you upfront that I'm only available in the mornings, on particular days.

Caller: No problem. How would you like to work in the entertainment business?

Me: I'm not sure. What kind of job?

Caller: Modelling. If you're interested, do come by tomorrow morning. Bring a nice pair of bikinis and we'll see what you've got.

Me: I'm actually looking for a teaching job. I'm not really sure I'd want to do some modelling stuff...

*CLICK*

Me: Hello? Hello? Hello?

Gawddddddddddddddd!!!

00:30 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (6) | Email this

03/05/2007

Oops They Did It Again...

My regular classes start at 3:00 pm. To maximize my working hours, I decided to post my resume online and got an offer in this kindergarten school. I was called for an interview and was told  that the orientation for the spring class will be on 5 March at 11:00 am, which is today. I excitedly look forward to this part time job as it means extra mo'. A week ago, I emailed the agent who facilitated the hiring process and confirmed everything. The agent told me that the school administrators like me a lot and I should be on time on the orientation day. Okay!

I took the cab to make sure that I won't be late. Apparently, the program started earlier than I expected because when I arrived, the hall is already filled with children, parents, and guests. Up on the stage, I saw two foreign teachers, with their smiles stuck like glue on their faces. I tried to inch nearer and waited for that moment when the foreign teachers are introduced to the audience. My name was not called. I assumed that perhaps the boss was fazed to call me in front as I am no native speaker with neither blond hair or blue/gray eyes. I sat patiently and waited for the program to finish.

As soon as the orientation is done, I approached the administrator and said hi. She seemed agog-ed to see me. She asked me in Korean what I was doing there. I told her in English that I thought I was supposed to attend the program as I will be starting to work tomorrow, 6 March 2006.

The rest was a very humiliating process of finding out I am no longer hired. How bloody fucked up is that? That, at the last minute, the school bosses decided to change their mind and hired the fat woman and the thin creepy man instead. No offense to native speakers teachers, but suddenly, I hated them all. I bet the circus duo that school hired don't even have units in Early Child Education. Oh I am so bitter!

I told the witch-y boss that I didn't hear any such news from anybody. She angrily called the agent and shoved the phone on my hand. I told the agent that I am embarrassed beyond words and I don't certainly think I deserve any of this. Never mind that most of the parents were there, standing in the hallway listening to every bit of half English - half Korean discourse I was having with this warlock headmistress.

Discomposed, I left the school and headed back home. I cried my heart out and got ready for my regular job.

This is not the first time this kind of thing happened. This is actually the third! When am I going to learn that between me and a blond fat girl, any Korean school boss would always choose the latter. Arrggghhhh...

Oh well. I guess this is just one of those days. 

Anyhoo, today I bought my very first red stiletto shoes to compensate for depression. Might as well be stylish while going through another bout of blunder. Blah!

02:10 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (5) | Email this

01/19/2007

This is Teacher

"I admire her because she is nice." Cristina, a 9-year old 3rd grader, wrote at the back of this drawing.  

I asked my last class to draw someone they admire and explain why they like that person. Majority of the students drew their favorite movie and TV talents; Cristina chose me. I was touched immensely that I gave her 1,000 won ($1), which is not allowed in the school, but heck, it's not everyday that a student tells you she admires you, eh? Haha. Of course, the bratty ones who chose to draw somebody else totally regretted what they did. Bwahahahha!!!

Isn't  this so sweet? 

21:05 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this

01/16/2007

I Did Something Bad Today

I was getting late earlier and I have no time to iron my dress, so I decided to hang it inside the bathroom to steam it. I turned the shower on, closed the door and went to prepare my breakfast.

After breakfast, I realized it's almost time that I take a bath. When I opened the door, a great cloud of steam came out. I saw my dress' creases disappeared like it was ironed. Ha! Great. I prepared the rest of my outfit and was laying them on the bed, when the fire alarm blasted. The steam coming out of the toilet activated the smoke detector.

Panicking, I opened the windows to let the steam out, totally ignoring the freezing weather outside. The alarm kept ringing. The noise was defeaning so I opened the main door and saw that the rest of my neighbors were hurrying out of their rooms. I knew that I was the culprit but I ran out with my co-tenants downstairs. Should I remain in my room and evoke suspicion? Nah! I watch too many CSI shows you know.

Everyone was wondering what could have triggered the alarm. Of course, dare I admit it? I acted as though I knew nothing. And since am the hooligan who started the chaos, I kept to myself and prayed that the alarm would stop. I was already running late, not to mention, scared to my balls that the landlord would arrive soon to check on us.

I took my shower in record time, dressed up and hurried to school.

As I was starting my first class, my landlord called. Because am really guilty, I could not bring myself to fully comprehend what he's saying. I told him to call my friend, whom I already confessed to the little crime I did on the way to school (and I am pretty sure my friend will never tell on me). Apparently, the landlord was only wanting permission to get inside my room to check the alarm. As there was really no fire, he wondered obsessively what could have started the early morning hullabaloo.

I swear, I will never steam my dress again. Ever.

On second thought, I will remind myself to ducktape the smoke detector. Yay!!!

21:30 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (13) | Email this

01/08/2007

Do you know how to use this?

I  haven't done my laundry for over a week now. I did some here and there but the rest of the clothes in my hamper are so crying already to be washed. To my surprise, when I went to the laundry room earlier, I was greeted with this new sophisticated washing machine that seemed so alien I didn't even want to go near it. I hovered around the laundry room trying to figure out how to operate it when suddenly this Ajumma, a neighbor's mother, came in to load  her stuff. She looked at me for sometime and asked in Korean if I'm going to do my laundry or what.

Jeez, I was planning to  wash my hair you know... you... you permed crone! Obviously, the Ajumma was itching to  use the new machine so I told her to go ahead. There are actually two washers in the room but I dare not use the other one as it's so small it will take me forever to finish my  laundry.

I pretended to sort out my clothes while quietly observing how she operated the new washer. She probably noticed this and bitchily quipped, "This is the latest model. Do you know how to  use this?" Yikes!!! I was caught off-guard so I unwillingly admitted that no I haven't seen one in my life  before and I certainly don't know how to as I haven't yet mastered my technical Hangeul to perfection.

The Ajumma now realizing that I am a foreigner from a country where washing machines are unheard of, carefully and insolently taught me how to use the "latest model". Push this and that, then set the timer and your laundry is done. Okay, fine I got that. Can I use the machine first? Nahhhhh!!! The Ajumma added that if and when I needed assistance, I can bother her. Isn't that so sweet of her? I bet my ass she's having a great time now telling her son that he has an ignoramus foreigner for a neighbor. Ha!

Now, if only the landlord would bring back the old washer, my life would be sooooooo much sweeter.

20:10 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (6) | Email this

12/12/2006

Confession Time

This picture clearly shows am not fit to teach. Why? Go figure. Ugh!

 

Let's face it, I am not embarrassed to tell the whole world that am not the greatest teacher who ever walked on the face of the planet but hey my students love me. They may talk back, harass, and put bubble gums in my coffee from time to time, yet still I know they love me. Why did I say that? I dunno. I just feel it. I always trust my instinct you know. Besides, who would hate a teacher who lets you go out of the room if you're not happy taking the exam? Do you know anybody else? Come on! I dare you.

 

You see I am not that bad neither my students are. They are kids. We are kids. What can we do with kids to win their hearts? Give in to their tantrums once in a while. And today happened to be a good day, I didn't throw anybody out of the window for giving me the middle finger. Heck, I can do that tomorrow.

 

By the way, I did not, in any manner or form, TEACH my students to pose  this way. I swear!!!

01:30 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

12/10/2006

Stalk Me and I'll Saw Your Legs Off!

Who would know that just because I got so bored and decided to take a momentary escape from my 4x5 bedroom that I would be stalked?

 

I knew that this guy is bad news the moment I stepped out of the apartment building. He was there infront of the main door, swaggering, apparently had too much soju, speaking to himself, when he saw me came out. Out of the blue, he told me that he likes my earrings, which was so absurd because it was dark and I am pretty sure he didn't see the ornament hanging in my lobes. He followed me up to the mall, and told me that  he wants to see a movie with me when he saw me checking out the movie schedule.

 

In my fear that he would do something nasty, I frantically tried to look for the lady guard, the one who accused me of stealing a skirt from the store a month ago. We became friends since then. She was extra attentive to me after the incident. Maybe she was thinking that later on, she will catch me red-handed. Ha! I couldn't find her so I decided to call my friend O, and asked her how to say that I am being harassed by some drunken Ajossi. O told me to just say "stalker" as there is no Korean term for that particular word.

 

When I finally saw the lady guard, I told her of my little predicament. She called the guards to throw the crazy dude out of the store. The stalker told them that I am his wife and that we are having a fight. I convinced them anyway that I don't know the man and that I would never in my life, would be married to someone as crazy as he is.  

 

After the little incident, which I now believe is making me notoriously popular in that store, I indulged myself with Mc cheeseburger, strawberry shake, large fries and apple pie (yes I need all those calories to sooth my nerves) then went to see Saw 3, a movie which is all about stalking! Ha! How could Jigzaw and his accomplice, the infamous Amanda, capture their victims? She stalks them of course! This movie, by the way is so macabre, as in the tradition of Saw series, you'd have to watch it with someone whose shirt you can pull while you scream the hell out of your lungs. Yay! I had fun pulling my own coat!

 

I am so glad Jigzaw is now dead, I won't have to worry he will stalk, kidnap and make me play his ridiculous games! Yikes! Why am I saying that?

03:05 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

11/19/2006

Me Ate Grasshoppers

Today, the Kim's firstborn son got married in Jeolla province. We drove for almost 3 hour and a half to get there. Going home we had to endure an exhausting 5 hours ride because of the heavy traffic, which is very usual on weekends in country side highways. The wedding, including the reception, took only an hour. 

 

When the Kims gave me the wedding invitation weeks ago, I saw the occasion as an opportunity to don a hanbok. Mr. Kim told me that I don't have to as only the relatives of the bride and groom are required to wear so. After throwing a little tantrum, I was given permission to wear one. For days, I was into calling frenzy to borrow a hanbok. For everyone's information, a silk gown costs as much as 2 million won. However, pressing issues came up in the school, and the hanbok catwalking was set aside. I could have rented one for something like 80 bucks but decided not to anymore. The itch was gone and I opted for a safer black outfit ensemble. I left the honor to O, who's now a proud mom-in-law. Yay!

 

In spite of me not looking like a Korean royal princess, the affair went well.  I didn't want to steal the thunder from the bride anyway. That would be so uncouth. It was a great privilege to witness the union of two individuals whose culture is so much different than mine. Although the rite does not reflect much of the traditional Korean wedding anymore, it still is, a unique episode in my life here. The beautiful ceremony lasted for only 15 minutes, picture taking for about another 15 minutes. Then feasting on the piquant variety of traditional Korean and Chinese dishes for another 30 minutes, or it depends on how much one can eat.

 

During the reception, I sat with Mr. Kim's former highschool buddy, also a Mr. Kim, and his family. The daughter's set to study in the Philippines and they wanted to know more about my country so I obliged. For dessert, Mr. Kim's daughter brought a plate of cookies and fried grasshoppers. Since Mr. Kim was relentless in his effort to make me eat all those Korean food, I helped myself with some grasshoppers to concede. And know what? It actually tastes like anchovies.

 

Live octopus... fried grasshopper... I don't know what else is in store for me.

00:10 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (15) | Email this

11/11/2006

Friday the 10th

Definition of Terms:

 

heurr [part of speech classification unknown]; (pronunciation key - roll back your tongue and produce that sound as though you're mad at something) - origin unknown, this is what most teachers get from Korean students when asked to do seatwork, exercises or just anything that has to do with learning. It could mean: a) Shut up; b) Go to hell; and c) Whatever! It could also be all of the above.

 

 

Ajumma [noun, of female variety] - married Korean woman; usually a term for any old Korean woman, regardless of civil status; also known as rulers of the ROK; they will push and shove just about anybody for a vacant seat in the subways; they will mop your cubicle whether you're doing your thing or not; but they can be likeable if they want to; for a better perspective, please see the draft which I posted here in my blog earlier last year.  

 

 

Synopsis: Earlier, while waiting for the bus home, I saw that my favorite boutique across our school is holding a sale. I got a plaid gray wool skirt for just 5 bucks and giddily went home. But I remember that I don't have a can opener and I have to buy some hair dye as well so I went to Lotte Department Store which is just right outside the subway station to get what I need. As I was passing through the entrance, suddenly this "krong-krong" sound blasted. The lady guard standing near by told me that she has to search my bag or something like that. Because I was already getting hungry, I grabbed my wallet and left my bag with her.

 

After paying my purchase, I claimed my bag from the lady guard but she needed to see everything inside. She saw the skirt and realized it is the culprit. Apparently the security tag was not removed in the shop were I bought it. She asked where it came from so I told her. We were having a hard time understanding each other so she called a store personnel, who can barely speak English, then another person and before I knew it, there was a police guy asking me to produce an ID. Humiliated to my bones, I screamed in their faces and defended myself in my very best Korean.

 

People started to gawk. I told them that I was just about to enter the store when the security tag alarmed. How could I steal something from the outside? It was so hard communicating with them so I tried to call my friend O, whose phone's busy, as she was probably doing phone teaching during that time. I also called her husband, Sean, but because of the frenzy, I forgot the access number and got instead a Korean girl spewing Hangeul in my ears. 

 

The lady guard summoned the other girl stationed on the opposite entrance and asked if she saw me exit from that side. Whatever! I was getting fuzzed. I told them that I want to go home and that I am hungry. I gave the police guy my business card and told him to call me when he learns English! I simply refused to panic. I did not do anything! Hello! I transformed myself like a true blue Ajumma - bitch back! Now I know why Ajummas rock! Heurrr!

 

My accusers convened for what seemed like a passing of another century, after which I was allowed to go home, but before each of them apologized.

 

Conclusion:  Heurrr!!!

03:50 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (5) | Email this

10/31/2006

Trick or Treat 101

I never experienced treat or trick when I was a child. We don't normally celebrate it in the Philippines. Oh well, only those who live in affluent villages do. All those costume wearing and all, I never had the chance to even try. None that I can recall really.

The rest of the Filipinos celebrate Halloween eve by telling spooky stories to their children. And the children of the less affluent? They amuse each other to death by playing hide and seek under the moonlight. Come to think of it though, I never played that either. What happened when I was a child? I can't remember anything anymore.

Take note however that although most Filipinos don't pay attention to trick or treat, they make up in commemorating All Souls Day (is it November 1 or 2? Am confused. Will somebody enlighten me? I'm too tired to google.) Every 1st of November, almost everyone flock to cemeteries complete with the following necessities: food, booze and game cards. They party with the dead ones, hoping that the dearly departed is likewise feteing in heaven or hell or purgatory. Oh yes, there is a purgatory, i.e, according to my cathecism teachers.

But am not here to discuss that rather disturbing Filipino tradition. Like I never participated in any of it. Ha! I'm so hypocrite!

Today, in the school where I am torturing kids on a daily basis, I decided to take advantage of the Trick or Treat festivity. The boss gave us chocolates and candies to hand out. And since am such a childhood deprived character, I decided that I TRICK my students for real.

Before I give them candies, I'd ask them a question about the lesson. If they give me a wrong answer, they could either give me a candy or they can do something from singing to dancing to mimicking a TV commercial. Wee! I had a blast and a bag full of candies before the day is over. The kids? They threw tantrums in my face when they realized that I tricked them out of their sweets. But who cares! I don't! I got candies and chocolates that would last me a month! Yay!

I think I need to do Trick or Treat everyday. It's fun. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

"Where there is no imagination there is no Horror." ~Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr.

22:40 Posted in Me Korea Adventure | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this

10/05/2006

Thanksgiving Day

Today is officially the start of a three day holiday period here in Korea. Koreans are celebrating Chuseok, their version of thanksgiving. It's by far the biggest holiday here in Korea. Koreans prepare for Chuseok in such exuberant manner akin to how most Catholic people prep for Christmas. Traditionally, the eldest son in the family serves as the host of the celebration. All the siblings, including their families, the patriarch and matriach of the family stay in the said eldest son's house all through out the holidays.

 

So imagine if you are the eldest in the broad of five, and each of your siblings have at least three kids, plus your Appa and Omma, you have approximately seventeen mouths to feed and entertain for the duration of three days. Fun? Oh well, the eldest son has no right to complain. The moment he was born, he was ready for it. Ha ha. However, the burden of cooking and preparing those Korean dish to feast on lies on the shoulder of the eldest son's wife. Ahahahah!!! Now I am not wondering why my Ajumma classmates usually have PMS-like tempers before and after Chuseok. I can not  blame them. 

 

Lucky for those who don't have surviving in-laws, like my friend O. She never had to endure the grueling task of cooking customary delicacy like