The Wandering Deity's World

I have found a new place under the sun. A place where I could rant all day long and still be regarded as an immortal.

Those who wish to know where I am going to wreak havoc in the next millennia, please come and see me  here...

Your Score: Smart enough

You scored 112 Intelligence!

You're smart. Did you know the average IQ of a doctor is 116? Yep. You're just right around there. You're cool. I'd probably prefer to hang out with someone like you with this IQ. You're a little above average, but not quite a genius so that you annoy me with useless crap. Stay cool.

Been sick for almost ten days now. Cough, colds, flu. You name it, I have it. Went to see the doctor because I got bored sneezing and coughing, taking meds and speaking with a voice that sounds from the grave. 

Surprisingly, doctor's diagnosis of the headache and earache I have been experiencing for almost three years now is caused by Temperomandibular Joint Dysfunction (TMJ). The symptoms, which I have consciously ignored over the years, include dizziness, constant headaches, migraines, tooth pain, pain down the arms into the fingers, pain upon jaw movement, ringing in the ears, grinding of the teeth and chronic neck and backache, etcetera...

(And, according to some articles that I have read online, "a bad TMJ can even cause problems with chewing and thinking. It can put you into a chronic "fog," making it difficult to think or make decisions..." )

Anyway, the doctor's verdict? I gotta wear braces. Almost 40-ish woman, wearing braces. What a sight to behold. Gross!

Speaking of "chronic fog", I am now thoroughly convinced that the primary reason why my entry to Seoul.go.kr essay writing contest was denied... is because... of TMJ!

Not.

I forgot to attach the pictures. 

How stupid can I get?

I was so psyched to win that contest because the grand prize -- 2,000 bucks -- will bring my loved ones here in Korea this Christmas. Moreover, last year's winner of  gold award is a Filipino. Aren't those enough reasons to egg on someone like me to win? Two grand is two grand. I can never earn that anywhere by just writing an essay.

For days, I completely cut-off contact with any breathing specie just to finish that entry to make it to the October 1 deadline.  

But I blew it. Big time.

*Wail, sniff, cough, sneeze*

Looking at the bright side of it though, I now have a year to polish the essay that will make me two grand richer next year.  

Whatever.

Tagged by Rhey. I should have done this a long time ago. I forgot the first one who tagged me. Gah.  

Food: I basically eat anything under the sun, except this one Filipino dish that a former roommate cooked. It’s pechay with tuna. It was the most disgusting thing I have tasted in my whole life. I’d eat tuyo and daing anytime of the day, just don’t feed me with that crap again, ever.

Fruits: I don’t like star-apple. I also don’t like fresh cherries. I prefer the bottled one.

Veggies: I don’t like okra.

People: Like Rhey, I hate user-friendly people. You know, the type that hangs around if they know they can benefit something from you. I can smell them within ten-mile radius. I also abhor manipulative friends, the kind that pretends to be caring and all, and subtly suggest how to run your life, like you don’t have a brain at all. LASTLY, I detest people who pretend to be good friends -- call or e-mail you when you're down, offer "HYPOTHETICAL" comfort, bless you in the name of God... and... GOSSIP about the details of your agony to everyone who cares to know, with a guffaw to boot, like your misery is a total comedy for them. Gah. I wish they drop dead, right now.

Event/Situation/Incident: You are fired! Gawd, I hate that.

TV shows/movies: I hate stupid reality shows and dramatic soap-operas... no wonder some people are so full of shit, they watch too much crap on TV.

Music: Any music with incomprehensible vocals. Can anyone really enjoy music with the vocalist mumbling something like a voodoo curse?

Household chores: Yeah Rhey, I hate doing the laundry, too. That and washing the dishes. I rather clean the house all day long. 

Thing/s around the world: Racism.

Thing/s about myself: Pickle-mindedness and getting bored so easily. I wish to be more stable. 

Will someone make a 10 Things I Love The Most? That would be awesome. If we could write about the things we hate, I guess, it's appropriate that we write the things that we love.

I am tagging everybody... just do it if you want. And let me know.

G, the hunk, planning to get a blond wig,  posted a stolen survey in his blog so me decided to follow the trend and here's mine. 

By all means, everyone is invited to steal this from me.

Kissed a friend? Yeah. Of course. Haven’t you?  

Got a hicky? Now, why would you want to know?

Cheated on a test? Yes. Haven’t you?

Cheated on your homework? All the time. Bwahahhahah!!!

Told people someone's deep, dark secret? Nope. I don’t remember secrets. I usually flash them out in the toilet.

Lied to your parents/a boss? Yes. Tell me you haven't and I am going to kick your ass!

Spread gossip? Nope. Only stupid people do this. Do I look stupid to you?

Made up a false rumor to get back at someone? Nope. Gah. That’s very sad. Might as well shoot them between the eyes.

Stolen money? Yes. You want some of them? I don't mind sharing them with you.

Talked about an enemy behind their back? Are they even worth my time?

Gotten in a big fight for no real reason? Yes. I have the tendency to be juvenile sometimes.

Gotten in a big fight for a real reason? Yes. Fights are herbs that spice up life.

Thought lustfully of someone? Yes. Does imagining me sitting on Beckham’s lap count?

Stalked somone? Lol! That’s so sad again! I have better things to do with my life. I know someone who does to me though. Bwahahahha!!!

Been Stalked? Oh yeah. The Skirmisher stalks me. I know that. I can feel it. I see him everywhere. Hahahahha!

Made out with someone of the opposite sex? O' course.

Made out with someone of the same sex? Oh yeah, that, too! Even better. Harharharhar.

Laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? I usually smirk and roll my eyes then give out a silent fart as a sign of disgust.

Hurt yourself physically (on purpose)? Now, why the heck would I do that? I hurt myself in my sleep though. I dunno. I just woke up sometimes with scratches on my face. Apparently I dreamt of having a fight with Godzilla...

Taken a crazy dare? Ate some live baby octopus to win a million won.

Mooned/Flashed someone? Lol! Yeah. Lol! You want?

Caused someone major embarrasment? None that I am aware of.

Pushed someone into a pool? Yes and would love to push someone on the subway tracks, too. Wanna volunteer?

Got in a fight with someone and never made up? Yes. They are not worth making up with anyway.

Copied someone's homework because you didn't do it? Yes. All the time. I’m a bad student.

Skipped school to get out of a test? Yeah. Said I am having some allergy. Exam related allergies. Lol!

Wished someone was dead? All the time. Would you like it to be you?

Murdered someone? In my head, I have mutilated a lot of people. But even if I did, do you really think I am that stupid to admit it on the internet? Gahhh!!! 

Kissed someone the day you met them? Yes. The BF :) Saw him first time in the airport and kissed him right there and then.

Gotten pregnant/gotten someone pregnant before marriage? Yes. Being a single mom rocks... but...

Like the person that posted this before you? I’m the first and yes I like myself. No. Let me correct that. I love myself.

Drank/did drugs/smoked a cigarette? I smoke. A lot. Got any problem with that?

This is the end of the survey? Oh, thank goodness.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Very interesting question, this new online friend asked me tonight. "Why did you name your blog, The Wandering Deity?"

When we were very young, Mother used to tell me and my siblings stories about Gods and Goddesses, who roam around the world, punishing little boys and girls whenever they deem necessary, or giving supernatural powers to those who take afternoon naps. I know by now, that it's my mother's twisted version of the Greek mythology.

Anyway, those stories awakened my interest in supernaturals and immortals at a very young age. Then it dawned on me one day, that perhaps I was a Deity in my first life, and/or destined to be one. Does that sound vague? Let me tell you this.  

When I was a little girl (five or six I think, not sure anymore), I wanted to be a singer. I always sang along to any Carpenter's songs, but mother was quick enough to point out that I sang out of tune, she being, my number one critic since the day I was born.

But you see, I was never that type of person who gives up easily.

In fifth grade, a wonderful opportunity came. A classmate invited me and other friends to join the church choir. She thought that because I have such a high-pitched voice, I'd be good for the alto part. I thought of it as my chance to finally shine. I remember looking forward to each choir rehearsal and the day that I'd be singing "The Messiah" like an angel.

However, after two weeks of singing in the church, I was told by the choir vocal teacher that I needed to practice more and that I could only sing if there's an absentee member... which never happened. 

My dream of a singing career died that day.

Imagine how cool would it be, if anyone did encourage my singing talent. People would be calling me Pop Deity by now. How mesmerizing it would be to see a giant billboard poster, with neon lights glowing underneath the print, "The Rock Deity In Concert (In the Nearest Stadium Behind You)". Coolness!

Forgetting my singing career, I focused on becoming a nun.

Practicing my act as a holy apparition one day, mother told me that "malditas" (Filipino for bad little girls) like me will never be a nun. That was the second time she killed my future*. 

I thought it would be overwhelming to hear people calling me "Sister Deity" or "Mother Deity Superior" someday. Then when I die and become a saint, people would be praying to my pagan statue, where under my perfectly sculpted feet, Saint Mary Deity, is engraved.

I dismissed the dream of becoming St. Mary Deity. And I certainly don't have any passion for it anymore. I am too old to be a novice. I don't think I'd like donning a habit anyway. It's so monotonous. And I have to wear the same outfit everyday, for the rest of my life? I'd die of boredom, am pretty sure. Also, I don't think the mother superiors would like it that I call my rosary, bling-bling. "Sister, have you seen my bling-bling? I left it on the altar."

Having my dreams castrated at an early age, I was almost willing to give up on my Deity identity pursuit.

As fate would have it, came this chance to write for an ESL Teachers' website. I needed an alias and friend O, thought Wandering Deity fits me like a glove since I am known among friends to possess a "wandering brain" (lutang na utak)-- always bored, never focusing/settling on one thing, forever trekking to that Never Heard of Land, where Deities like me roam around freely without being regarded as an escapee from a mental asylum. 

Naturalmente, when I started this blog on the 2nd of February 2005, I used the same monicker. And let it be  known that I am going to be The Deity 'til the day I cease to exist... online.

Anyone got a problem with that, now is the time to speak!

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*In fairness to mother, she was the one who insisted that I take BSEducation back in college, which, needless to say, is my bread and butter these days. See? Mother knows best... but she is yet to find out that I call myself the Wandering Deity. Ha!

I saw this entry in Rhey's blog and thought I should be interviewed, too.  I don't know who started this but it's pretty amusing. I asked her to make the questions easier, as my brain is a little fragile and anything that has to do with calculus or political issues, breaks it.

The Rules: 

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."

2. I will respond by giving you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

We decided to meet up in a Starbucks branch somewhere in the Caribbean. There are lots of celebrities around but I am sooo oblivious of their presence. This is my first interview ever and I want it to be perfect.

Hi Johnny. Oh yes, I saw your last POTC movie. I think it's okay. You want me to replace Keira? Cool. We talk about it later. I have an interview in a few minutes. I'll see you around. I love you, too.

So sweet of that guy. Really.

Hellooooo Brad! Fancy seeing you here. You want me to baby sit Shiloh? Are you serious? Do you have any idea who I am? Come on Brad, you do know I am a lot better than that. Angie's calling you now. Go!

Hey Mr. Clooney, you are not going to seduce me with a cup of frappucino. Haha. And do you really think I'll accept that part in Ocean's 14 where Andy will tie me to a vault then he'll blow me into pieces? Can you please ask the writers to redo that scene? Thank you. I'll give you a call. Okay?

Hell these people. Where the heck is my interviewer?

I decided to wear my Vera Wang micro mini ball gown to impress Rhey, who donned a Ralph Lauren black suit, which really looked good on her. Dang! She trying to outdo me? I'm supposed to be the interviewee here.

After we checked each other out from head to toe, the interview started.

Rhey: Why do fools fall in love?

Deity: You already know that the difference of mankind from the rest of the species is their free will. The power to choose what they want, what would make them happy, the intelligence to decide on life-changing matters, etc… However, when humans fall in love, they do crazy stuff -- things that they have never done before in their entire lives. Some even commit gross macabre crimes which, what them, CSI's call, crime of passion.

In short, humans before falling in love are sane. However, as soon as they fall in love, and let that "chemical substance" brought about by that feeling, runs in their veins, they are reduced to that category – fool.

Hey, I am in love and I am no fool. And why do I fall in love? I guess because even fools need to love and be loved… I think.

Next question, please? I am getting nervous here.

Rhey: What is so inspirational with the line 'who moved my cheese?

Deity: Hmmm… I read that book. I forgot the name of the author. It's one of those books I borrowed from a friend, read in the subways and buses to pass time.

Anyway, the book is about these four mice, actually representing people. Everyday, the mice get out of their little mouse house, grab the cheese waiting for them, and do about what they have to do for the rest of the day. The cheese represents the everyday thing in a man's life, the daily routine, that is. Then one day, someone moved the cheese and the rest of the book tackled how each mouse reacted to that change. Of course, there's this helpful solution how to go about the change. Blah. Blah. All those stuff self-help books are made of.

I will pretend for a moment that I have not read the book. That line would definitely inspire my adrenalin to surge, to turn into a Rambo Deity (garbed in a pink leather suit   armed with stiletto boots and nail file), and hunt the one who moved the cheese; to castrate that person, skin him alive and rub his exposed skin with rock salts. Ha!

Rhey: Describe your first 'titillating experience'.

Deity: Gawdness, that happened like centuries ago, when you were still in the womb of your momma, happily swimming in her placenta, protected from the vanities and insanities of the world. I cannot, for a single moment, recall the experience. Did I have an orgasm? Not so sure. Really. I must be soooo drunk I passed out and remembered very little of it the following day but considered it to be the first ever titillating experience.

You should have specified with whom. That would be a lot easier to answer. Hahaha!

Rhey: You are a super hero, what super powers would you like to have and why?

Deity: Okay, I always like to think that I am a Deity but everybody knows am another mortal suffering from suppressed ADHD and well-maintained catatonia.

Granting I'll be given a super power, I'd choose the Gorgon stare. You know that myth bitch who turns everyone into stone with her deadly gaze? Yes, I like that. A lot. I want to be able to turn any human being who crosses my way into stone. I think it will also work good on my students.  They turn nasty and bratty, I turn them into pebbles!

Rhey: You find yourself in a room full of all the things that you have ever WANTED, but you can only choose one thing to take with you for now. What would you choose?

Deity: Let me imagine for a moment that I am sitting in a Waldorf Astoria penthouse suite, fresh from my nth birthday party. I got tons of Prada and LV bags, choices of Manolos, Jimmy Choos and Steve Madden shoes, Channel and Burberry coats, Gucci purses and perfume, and other gorgeous designer stuff, birthday presents of my beloved family and friends.

The clinker is I can only choose one? Dang! Why can't I have them all? Anyway, I can always come back for the other items. Right? Yes? Hello?

Okay, I'll grab first the lifetime gift certificate from Clinique before somebody else steals it. Everybody knows it's costly to maintain beauty. Heck, a lifetime certificate will guarantee that y'all will grow old and wrinkly and ugly, while I, the Deity, I'm gonna be beautiful for the rest of my living years, without spending a dime! Ha!

Now... who wants to be interviewed?

In my native land, the working class is still savouring a week long vacation, which started last 4 April, the day being Holy Wednesday, and today is Bataan Day.

If I were back home, I would be spared from partying. I normally enjoyed this special day before without the usual badgering of friends to treat them out. No work, no party. That was my usual excuse. 

And today, as I turn a new leaf in my years, I contemplate on the blessings that God has showered upon me for the past years. I am eternally grateful to the Almighty One for life has indeed been great. With its ups and downs, I can't ask for more.

By the way, greetings are good, but I need cash! Hahaha!

"The best things in life are free,
Now that I've discovered what you mean to me
The best things in life are free,
Now that we've got each other
The best things in life are free..."

~ Luther Vandross

They say that the best things in life are free. I beg to disagree. They say that owning the latest cellular phone model, for free, is the coolest thing on earth. Nah. I don't think it is.

Having existed for nearly four decades now in this chaotic world, I  have amassed things that definitely did not come free. Things that I never have to buy though.

Things that I will always be grateful of.

And some of them are:

1. The family. My parents, my son, my siblings and their families -- the loved ones that I will never exchange for anything in the world. In times of despondency, their unconditional love keeps me lucid. Yes, it's kinda costly to call them everyday, yet just hearing their voices, especially my son's, is priceless.

2. The fiance. Although distance sometimes causes unwanted conflicts; trivial issues are overshadowed by his undeviating love-- something that money can never ever barter for. There's no wealth on this planet that could gauge his affection. I found the pirate's treasure. 

3. The students. They may unconsciously entice me to mutilate all of them most of the times; they doubtlessly always make my days (albeit not often good). Their constant shrieking, whining, crying and fighting is invaluable. No amount of Korean won could ever equal the joy they bring to my days.

4. The friends. The few ones here in Korea. The old friends I got back home. The online friends. Their loyalty, the moral support they provide, the blogs they write that allow me to peek into their world and entertain my most arid  moments -- that, can never be bargained. These friends were, are and will always be treasured. I am glad they made me a part of their lives.

5. The daily trials. The inevitable problems. I certainly didn't ask for them yet they keep me up on my toes. Without these worriments, my life would be a big BORE!

I have the best things in life anyone could wish for. God knows how much I appreciate them... I am and will always be.

But hey I didn't say I will say no to a FREE Manolo Blahnik sandals for my birthday. =) 

새 헤 복 마니 바두새요! Se hae bok mani paduseyo! Happy New Year everyone!

Koreans celebrated the Seol Nal by visiting their ancestors to give respect; I embrace the turn of the year by laughing  my ass off. Here, as a special treat, I bring you this video-- a parody of James Blunt's monumental song. Enjoy!