The Wandering Deity's World

Marissa sent me this open letter to architects penned by Annie Choi. And she wrote that my writing style is similar to Ms. Choi's, which was really cool, considering I have never read any of her work yet. What's even more sensational is that Ms. Choi has authored and published the hilarious book, "Happy Birthday or Whatever".  I was like, flattered deliriously. Although I'd be honored to be identified with Robert Fulghum or David Sedaris, my two favorite essayists of all times, a fast-rising author like Ms. Choi herself is likewise gracious.

I googled Annie to know her more and found her website. Read her reaction on how an innocent letter to building designers of the world generated hate and love letters from all over the universe. I Left a comment telling her how sad it is that some people can not take a jabber. Then, she actually replied to my comment! Awesome. I feel close to her already.

The letter which attracted varying reactions from architects and non-architects alike reminded me of a date I had a long time ago with an Indian draftsman. From aperitif to main entree, all he could talk about was the notable benchmarks of prehistoric and modern era, etcetera, etcetera.

The highlight of the dinner I think, was when he mentioned something like wanting to meet the creators of the Great Pyramids of Giza. I forgot now why he's dying to meet them. When I bluntly told him that  to be able to do that, he has to go to Houston, Texas and send out a signal; he gave me a dumbfounded look... the look that I will never forget for as long as I live... the look that is more like, What the bleep are you talking about Mj?

I never heard from him after that date. He probably figured out how to contact them and they have decided to abduct him, for all I know.

Women, now is the time to unleash your inner beast and make him come crawling towards your feet.

Needless to say, this is what the book Why Women Marry Bitches -- A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart by Sherry Argov, is all about.

Mind you people, the bitches referred to in this book are not the mean manipulative witches who bring suffering to others; the author defines a real bitch as someone who has a "strong conviction, with her own identity and is secure for who she is... the woman he dreams of marrying..."

The book forewarned everyone that this is "not written to coddle your inner child." True to her words, Argov tackled the "strategies" that will make him commit, whether he likes it or not, in a rather colloquial manner. The book aims to teach women the proper ways of scaring the wits outta him. The subtle methods to make oneself inexpendable and thus make the prince charming propose  unconsciously.  

Which led me to think, are men really that stupid and women that desperate to get married? 

After a few days of engaging myself in what the author calls a no-holds-barred intense tete-a-tete with men who are happily married to bitches, I felt cheated out of my 11 bucks. I find the book of no use in my current state. It doesn't apply to us. Nope. I know what I want and I certainly don't want to trick him into marrying me so that in a few years he will be sadly hanging out in his favorite bar, telling all the dudes who care to listen, MJ is a psycho bitch.

The sound of it is disgusting already. Blasphemous.

Seriously, there are principles that Argov laid out which, she calls a brilliant maneuvering of a man's ego. "If he doesn't call you in a few days, fails to give you what you want, you should do the same thing. Monkey see, monkey do."

I definitely don't agree with that. What if something happend to your man and no one thought of telling you knowing that you two are together most of the time. You just give up on him then? 

The author assures that if he's into you, he will start to wonder where you are, what have you been doing when he's not around. Bla. Bla. Bla. Yeah. What if he accidentally fell off a cliff or bumped his head and acquired amnesia? What then?

With all the dignified, feminine and winsome blueprint that the author laid out... she forgot one vital issue...

At the end of the day, it's not the cold-calculating Ms. Galaxy or the smart independent Ms. Librarian who gets to live happily ever after... it's the woman who ordered Karate Kid in Starbucks because she forgot her boss's favorite coffee mix and hoped that the barista will get what she's trying to say; the one who laughed her brains out/ cried her lungs out in public, not caring what others may think of her; the one who calls him in the middle of the night, simply to ask him if he's having sweet dreams; the one who loves and gives without reservations...

She is the one who gets to tie the knot with the man who perceived all her imperfections and flaws as endearing assets. She is the one who stays married with him for as long as she's living... And she's no bitch.

Can't think of anything right. I am so overwhelmed. I'll tell you the details some other day, when everything's confirmed.

In the meantime, let me give you this classic by The Stylistics, "Can't Give You Anything (But My Love):

Not to be outdone, the Japanese came up with their very own stylish version:

Oh in case you don't know, that guy is Takuya Kimura, big in Japan, very hot dude, uber metrosexual. Korean girls are also swooning over him.

Needless to say, he amuses me too! I so love his Levis Engineered Jeans ad.

If he wants, he can be  my boytoy... Harharharhar!

Two nights ago while talking to the son, he suddenly said he's going to play something for me. He mentioned something like "I know these are some of your favorites".

I was very surprised to hear him strum "In The End" and "Faint"* by Linkin Park.

I almost choked in pride. Actually, I cried in the bus. When the son asked me if I like it, I told him that I love it soooo much. I imagined him grin from ear-to-ear, something he does when he's extremely pleased with himself.

I can not believe my ears that the ten year-old boy I left home three years ago, can now play something real other than the first few lines of REM's "The One I Love", which was a favorite when he was about five.

It's too bad that my celphone doesn't have a record feature. It would have been great to share with you guys the very reason why I am slaving myself away here in Korea.

He's growing up fast and I am missing terribly the important years of his life. But it's all worth it... we will be together soon and... I am going to be a future Rockstar Mom. That I am very sure.

*I searched in youtube a similar acoustic intro version of that song. More or less, the son played the intro part like this.

**Sniff**

Saw this while surfing the net. Got curious and decided to post it here to see who among my friends is the Ultimate Word Warrior. I thought about posting the link but that'd spoil the fun as you might be tempted to peek on the answers.

No googling, puhhleezzzz!

I'll post the correct answers later on this week. 

The English language has borrowed many words and phrases from other languages. Some of these words are so familiar to us that we never stop to question the actual meaning. Do you know the literal meanings of the following terms?  

1. The literal meaning of auld lang syne is

a. Old long ago

b. Old languages

c. Old Forgotten

2. Bon vivant literally means

a. Lively life

b. One who lives well

c. Good life

3. The literal meaning of carpe diem is

a. Fish of the day

b. Seize the day

c. Don’t worry, be happy

4. Et cetera literally means

a. And the rest

b. And all that

c. And on and on 

5. E pluribus unum translates to

a. In God we trust

b. All for one and one for all

c. One out of many

6. Trompe l'oeil means

a. Deceives the eye

b. Wins the hand

c. Walks the line

7. The phrase "la vida loca" means

a. Green eyes

b. The big train

c. The crazy life

~~~~~~~~~ 

Goodluck!

Mother, the greatest movie critic, who ever walked on the face of this planet, told me that I  should not miss the Tranformers for anything in the world. Then, I read in a myspace friend's blog that she saw the movie and thought it's pretty really cool.

With that in mind, imagine my excitement when M, a former classmate in the Korean class, decided to watch the movie with me. She's no movie addict like yours truly but she said that Transformers was big in China when she was a young girl, and to see a real movie based on her favorite cartoon would be "interesting".

We rushed to the moviehouse to make it to the 5:30 screening. However, when we were about to buy tickets, we found out that the two cinemas playing the said movie have them in Korean. How sad is that? We forgot that it's Sunday-- family day and kiddie oriented movies (supposedly) like Transformers are translated in Korean, with no English subtitles. Yay!

Having no other options, we decided to see The Descent, which I have already seen on DVD, a year ago. Don't ask me why it took Koreans two years to show that movie here. I don't know either.

Classmate queried whether it's a really scary movie, as she hates seeing gory-terrifying ones with a passion. I told her that it's a suspense-thriller, not some kind of a horror-ghostly-type-of-movie. Of course, I lied. I just wanted to see how she would react in some creepy parts.

I paid dearly for lying.

To make the story short...

After the movie was over, I got bruises and scratches on my right arm. I didn't know that M, that sweet-spoken-well-poised-girl, turns into a Crouching Tigress, Hidden Dragoness, when petrified.

With eardrums almost shattered, right after we got out of the cinema, she screamed in my face for not telling her the truth... I just giggled.

She pinched me all the way to the shopping mall... as if the scratches weren't enough. She even told me that she thought she's going to have a heart attack when a nocturnal creature suddenly appeared behind one of the women.

I told her she over-reacted. She decided to pinch me again and cursed in Chinese, which amused me even more. I cussed her back in Spanish.

So much about sweet Chinese girls married to Korean men. They are myths. They don't exist really. Trust me on that one.

I gave up on Transformers. I am going to wait for the pirated DVD copy, which should be available in the Yongsan sidewalks, as I type this blog.

I am going to watch Harry Potter next weekend... Alone!

I admitted in one of my earliest posts that I used to be addicted to chatting. That changed when I met the BF. I no longer spend long hours conversing with just anybody online. These days, chatting means few online friends, old friends, family, my son and the BF. I don't entertain casual chats anymore. I got tired of all the BS that some perverted people do online.

Anyway, the other night, this guy popped up. He got this really queer yahoo id, and based on experience, anyone with a preposterous sounding id always turns out to be a creep. Bored with the article that I was trying to finish, I decided to hear what this dork has to say.

For aesthetic purposes, I edited his (caps and punctuations only) without removing any "vital" parts.

Moron: I saw your profile in yahoo 360 and I am interested.

Me: Okay.

Moron: Do you like being worshipped?

Me: Who doesn’t?

Moron: You’re a good writer.

Moron: I read most of your entries.

Moron: Some are great, some are so-so.

Me: Thanks.

Moron: Seems to me that you have some followers. They call you deity.

Me: Not followers. They are my friends.

Moron: They worship you.

Me: They don’t.

Mj: It’s some kind of a personal joke between me and my friends.

Moron: I think you’re suffering from ADD like Paris Hilton.

Mj: You mean Amazingly Deviant Deity???

Moron: That’s very stupid.

Moron: I think you’re a  stupid bitch.

Moron: It’s a waste of time talking to you.

And he has the nerve to tell me that? Ahahahhahaha!!! 

I immediately put him on ignore mode when I noticed that he's typing a message again. Whatever he has to say, he can keep that to himself. I already heard what I wanted to hear.

The following night, I told the BF about the conversation and looked for his profile to show him. However, the profile, *****@yahoo.com, no longer exists. Hmmm....

So much about chatting with anonymous people with "temporary" yahoo id's.

Aaccckkkk!!!!!

One of my favorite students in the Elite class (my homeroom class) -- A -- a charming young woman, quit today.

Apparently, last Friday, the boss asked for her June school fee and she told the boss that it was already given to the  Korean Teacher 1 (KT1) last end of May or first week of June. I can't remember exactly when. I got so lost with their rapid Hangeul. 

KT1 told the boss that A never gave her any payment. Boss decided to call A's mom to follow up payment. A's mom spoke to KT1 and they had a heated argument over the phone. A was adamant with her claim that she gave the payment to KT1, and the latter insisted that she didn’t get any payment at all.

I was told all about the issue only this afternoon when A said her goodbye. It broke my heart to know that she has to stop going to our school. She’s one of my sweetest students, if not the brightest.

I spoke to KT2 and innocently commented that perhaps KT1 was too busy to remember that A gave her the fee last month. KT2 summoned KT1 and repeated my statement. KT1 got furious. Because of the language barrier, my intention was misinterpreted. KT1 thought I was accusing her of stealing A’s school fee, which was rather ridiculous because it was not what I was trying to say.

In trying to help fix my student's predicament, I told KT 1 and 2 that I am willing to pay for A’s June tuition fee. The boss may deduct it from my salary this month. However, KT1 insisted that it was a not a good idea because it will only invoke jealousy among the students, and not to mention, an outrage among the parents if ever they find out.

I teach in a small village, and the folks know each other well, hence the competition of sending their children to any special classes after the regular school. It’s like what you call keeping up with the Joneses, which is a malady among Korean parents, much to the disgust of their children. Can't blame the parents. They only want the best for their children. Actually, more like whatever makes them prouder.

KT1 also pointed out that the parents of A may not like it. Pride, you know.

Sigh.

Anyway, I told KT1 that A could not have possibly kept the school fee to herself to buy things, because it was what they insinuated. It is a known fact that in the Elite class, she’s the only one who doesn’t have the latest cellular phone model or MP4 or electronic dictionary; she wears the same clothes for days. I noted that I never saw her possess any new fancy stuff for the past few weeks, if indeed she decided not to turn in the money.

I know my students so well. Whenever they have something new, be it a Rubik's cube or a new notebook, they make sure to show it off, in my face.

KT1 and KT2 advised me to stay away from the problem and just continue doing what I am paid to do.

I feel so bad for A but I know that she’s going to have a bright future ahead of her. I pray that this incident won’t cause her any trauma at all, but let it serve as an inspiration to struggle to make her life better.

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*hagwon is the Korean term for special schools.